Defying dystopia & being 69-ish

I’ve had a strange compulsion since Donald Trump won the White House – I’m drawn to dystopian films and series. And, at the same time, I find myself reflecting deeply on what can be done when faced with overwhelming societal challenges. A daily meditation is one way I try to interrupt the dread before I go too far down the rabbit hole.

I mean, it’s not just in the U.S. – if you’ve been paying attention, there’s a rise of far-right authoritarian movements worldwide imposing their will on anyone who doesn’t fit the mold of a straight, white, non-Jewish male. That kind of political anxiety after elections is hard to talk ourselves out of because some of what we’re responding to is real.

My latest dystopian deep dive is re-visiting the early (origin) TV episodes of The Handmaid’s Tale (2017). Adapted from Margaret Atwood’s book about a totalitarian theocratic regime that replaces the U.S. government, enforcing extreme religious laws and a rigid social hierarchy. In this grim reality, women are stripped of their autonomy. Basic reproductive health rights, like choosing how and when to use birth control or being able to access safe abortions, are restricted or outlawed.

When Fear Starts to Feel Like Too Much

You could call aspects of The Handmaid’s Tale potential glimpses of what could unfold in the U.S. It delves into how democracy might unravel when confronted with unchecked power, extremist ideologies, and systemic inequalities. In particular, I would encourage anyone with teenagers and adult kids to watch at least the first season together and have an open discussion about the unsettling scenarios it presents and the importance of staying vigilant in protecting democratic values – discussions unlikely to happen in our schools in the current climate (also given that schools are already banning the book).

Of course, we could go nuts hand-wringing over possible future scenarios and Trump isn’t even in power yet. When I’m feeling overwhelmed by nonstop headlines, I can feel my mind racing far ahead of what I actually know.

As a former reporter, I believe it’s important to be aware of what’s going on in the world, but as an emotions therapist, I also believe it’s vital to cultivate a mental “escape hatch,” a way to release the mounting dread and protect your emotional well-being while navigating these turbulent times. I’m not suggesting we check out. But managing stress in uncertain times has to be part of how we stay awake, rather than getting so flooded that we shut down.

There are countless books to recommend for this, but my simple, straightforward go-to is Buddhist Pema Chödrön’s simple yet profound little book called, When Things Fall Apart. It’s a gentle yet powerful guide to navigating life’s chaos with grace. On days when I’m feeling this pulled in every direction, I need simple ways to ground myself more than one more hour of reading headlines.

A Daily Meditation Before I Go Down the Rabbit Hole

Rooted in Buddhist teachings, Pema offers practical wisdom on embracing pain, uncertainty, and fear as opportunities for growth. As I like to say, it’s a book that strokes your soul. 

For me, daily meditation is not about becoming so serene that I no longer care about what is happening. It’s a way to care without letting it swallow me whole.

Pema also includes a meditation, called Tonglen, that I highly recommend, especially for those grappling with waves of despair amid the turmoil and suffering around us.  I’ve found Tonglen meditation for difficult times gives me somewhere to put some of the ache I’m carrying.

If you’d like to try it out, you can follow this short guided practice with me.

It feels good to release the burden. Even a few minutes of daily meditation gives me a little room inside my own head again.

Putting the Burden Down for a Minute

It doesn’t erase my fear of the future, of course. But it gives me a way to put it down for a minute, rather than letting it run the whole show.

Also, you’ll hear more about this in the coming weeks, but the Shift Network has asked me to teach a 7-week course on emotional resilience with the support of cannabis. That’s right, cannabis, one of the go-to tools in my emotional release work and the first time they’ve offered this kind of course. I’m very excited to be teaching this process to a wider audience!

You may recall that I’ve decided to share/confess my experience with advancing age – And I’m finally addressing my long history of self-body shaming (read my introduction for this here).

Every week this year, I am committed to owning up to my futile efforts to hold onto those last shreds of youth. While documenting and declaring these (embarrassing) foibles may not change my behavior, it will heighten my awareness of the many ways I compare myself to others and fall into envy. You can read this week’s revelation here.

With love,
Becca